Category Archives: Life after Death

  • I remember…

    Posted on October 8, 2017 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    Here we are. 3 years ago right now I was holding you while you slept where you loved to sleep. I remember that night like it was yesterday. I remember the weight of you as you breathed into the crook of my neck and you drooled down my collarbone. I remember we were sitting on […]

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  • 3 years old

    Posted on July 12, 2017 by Kristina Smith in Letters to Morgan.

    Dear Morgan, What can I say? You are three. I can sometimes close my eyes and just imagine what kind of 3 year old you would be. Would you have dark hair like your sisters? Hazel eyes or blue? Would you be sneaky like Brooklyn or tom-boyish like Taylor? Or would you offer that “in-between” […]

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  • The 3rd Christmas

    Posted on December 25, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    It’s an awful feeling to know that the only thing you want for Christmas is impossible. I just want Morgan. It’s like the clock keeps ticking. Time keeps moving. Before I knew it, Christmas was here.  Just like that. This year was harder than last year to get into the “Christmas Spirit”. It is hard […]

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  • Thanksgiving

    Posted on November 23, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It is a day to reflect on what you are thankful for. Everyone has something to be thankful for. Even those who are experiencing difficult times. There is always something… it could be something as simple as being thankful for having socks when it is cold out. Or maybe people who cannot afford […]

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  • Two years

    Posted on October 9, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    The old adage “time heals all wounds” doesn’t always stack up in my experience. Sure, the statement may be true for some types of wounds. You may break a bone, skin a knee, or cut your finger. Time heals those wounds. Some emotional wounds can also be healed. Like breaking up with your first boyfriend, […]

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  • Go find Morgan, Luke

    Posted on August 31, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    A few weeks ago, on August 10th, I was working in my office when Jeff called out to me to tell me our 10 year old Golden Retriever, Luke, who had bone cancer, was bleeding all over the place. His VERY large tumor on his leg stretched the skin so much that it broke through. […]

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  • Floating along

    Posted on August 20, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    I think I figured out a good comparison what it feels like to grieve your child. I used to go to the beach a lot when I was a kid. My family taught us kids to recognize where the rip tide was in the water so we could avoid it. “If you get caught in one, […]

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  • Another year

    Posted on July 12, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    My mother used to tell me the older you get the faster time goes. I never believed her until I was an adult. Every year seems to pass faster and faster. It seemed as though, when I was a child, time passed so slowly. Sort of like a roller coaster. When you are young, you […]

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  • Happy Birthday in Heaven Princess

    Posted on July 12, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    Dear Morgan, Oh how I wish you were here for me to cuddle up with today. To wake you up to balloons and to us singing “Happy Birthday”. I bet you would look like your big sister Brooklyn. And she would love to sing to you. She will sing to you today. We ALL will. […]

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  • Then there was love

    Posted on March 20, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death, Our Rainbow.

    “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  – Matthew 5:04 There are things in this world that we cannot predict. Childbirth, for one. It’s a mystery the science world is still trying to figure out. What physiological changes happen in a woman’s body to put her into labor? I’m sure there is divine […]

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  • Beautiful evolution of faith

    Posted on January 10, 2016 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    I think back to many years ago, 7 to be exact, when I started following a blog that a mother wrote about her little boy with Mitochondrial disease. It was the most incredible, odd, intense thing to watch this mother unfold right on the pages of her blog about how her little boy struggled from […]

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  • I miss you

    Posted on December 25, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Letters to Morgan.

    Dear Morgan, It’s Christmas Eve. About 11pm. We have stuffed the stockings, wrapped the presents and Gavin and Dad are putting together Brooklyn’s new play kitchen. I miss you. Everything today reminded me that you are gone. I am trying to get into the holiday spirit, I really am. But it’s a bitter reminder that […]

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  • Surviving the loss

    Posted on December 12, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    Apparently I missed the memo. You know, the one that said grief comes in stages. That once you are past stage one you go on to stage two, then three, then four, then…. you’re done. That seems to be the way the world expects grief to be. That there is a time limit , no […]

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  • The blessed

    Posted on November 28, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death, Our Rainbow.

    “No, It’s my 5th” That is the answer I give to the question everyone asks – “Is this your first”. My burgeoning, pregnant belly is pretty obvious now. Not that I’m trying to hide it – in fact I’m pretty proud of it. My belly, and who wriggles inside, is so much more than just […]

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  • The second Halloween

    Posted on November 8, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Letters to Morgan, Life after Death.

    Morgan, The girls missed you this Halloween, just like they did last year. They talk about you all the time – and they ask where you are. Especially Brooklyn. She was just 2 years old when  you passed away last year and she really, truly misses you. She rubs my belly and asks “is that […]

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  • A year gone by

    Posted on October 9, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    If there is one thing I have learned over the years it is that if you think you are going to fool kids, you aren’t. They have this sixth sense of knowing when their parents are not quite happy, and they tend to follow suit. When kids are little they tend to get cranky. They fight […]

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  • Mixed bag

    Posted on September 27, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Our Rainbow.

    15 weeks today… About the size of an apple. Really? There are so many different size apples. Like a Costco monster apple or a tiny Food Lion apple? 4″… that seems like a big apple to me! I am so excited about this baby… but I feel so disconnected. I think it’s because I’m just […]

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  • Choosing Joy

    Posted on August 26, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Life after Death.

    This week, this 3rd week of August, we sent our school-aged children back into the Frey. Gavin is a sophomore in High School (ummm…. share with me how THAT happened so fast!), and Taylor is in the 1st grade. Brooklyn is still at her pre-school, but she will be turning 3 in a few short […]

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  • 10 months away

    Posted on August 9, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Letters to Morgan.

    Dear Morgan, It’s mommy again. Still here… still missing you. Today marks 10 months without you here. 10 months ago today we watched you unexpectedly slip away from us and go home. I remember those moments so vividly. It was as if I was standing there with you, watching the events take place. I was […]

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  • The first ultrasound

    Posted on August 9, 2015 by Kristina Smith in Our Rainbow.

    8 weeks and 3 days. Our little peanut is 8 weeks and 3 days according to Melissa, our dear friend and my midwife. Melissa delivered Morgan and she grew close to us during the days of Morgan’s struggle at Levine Children’s Hospital. She is a wonderful woman and EXTREMELY talented at what she does. Ever […]

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