• Trying to find a way to survive

    I’m desperately trying to stay busy. I really shouldn’t say “trying” because I’m so damned busy I’m slipping, tired and frustrated. It is one of the busiest times of year at work and I’m struggling to perform my best… and if I DO manage to focus and be productive everything else in my life slips because my brain just can’t seem to be multifunctional.

    This makes me so unbelievably frustrated. I’ve always juggled an enormous load of work between work, all the kids activities & school, household management, shopping, cleaning, etc etc… but it’s like now that Morgan isn’t here it’s upset the balance. It’s like trying to juggle with one hand. I throw 10 plates in the air and can only seem to catch 5….

    Emotions are weird like that I guess…. They play tricks on you. You think “I’m having a good day… I can do this” then BOOM! Out of no-where you forgot some major event like your daughter’s teacher conference… or a deadline at work…

    I am looking forward to Friday. I need a mental break of sorts…. and I need to work more on the foundation. I changed my schedule to work 4 10 hour days so I can have one day a week to work exclusively on the foundation and/or catch up at home. Let’s see if I can squeeze my 60 hour week into a 40 hour week at work…

    We are going to the NBM show in Charlotte on Friday – it is a show for promotional products. Jeff and I used to have a screen printing and promotional products business and we continued all of our memberships, so we get to attend these events. What is REALLY great about that is we can help our friends at Camp LUCK with getting promotional products and also for our organization. It could potentially save thousands of dollars so more of the funding can go to benefit heart kids!! This makes me excited.

    We are making progress on the foundation. The progress would be faster but, because those damned plates I keep dropping, we hit a set back this week. I thought I had sent out an important piece of information for approval to the board for our 501(c)3 application but apparently I’m going crazy and imagined the whole thing.

    Yep – going crazy…

    I’m hoping that will get better soon… At least with my ability to focus. I don’t want anything to get “better” about losing Morgan. I want to miss her every day, all day.


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